10 Ways Weight Stigma Made Me Wait
I struggled with restrictive eating and bulimia nervosa during high school. In my early 20s, as I navigated recovery from chronic dieting, binge eating and purging, I didn’t know how to accept that my body was turning into a fat body (similar to some of my relatives). It was the early 2000s. Many of the concepts that would later become pivotal in pushing me into a place of solid healing (intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, body neutrality, fat liberation, and unlearning anti-fat bias and weight stigma) were either in their infancy, yet to be created, or not being talked about in the conservative Midwest. So, I waited. I waited in a space of longing, but for what, I didn’t know.
A little over a decade later, I stumbled over some of these concepts while searching the internet for answers to my questions. I gained important tools for healing, but I also started to understand my internalized anti-fat bias was stalling my healing. I began to notice that weight stigma tainted my experiences.
Weight stigma kept me waiting for healing that I wasn’t sure was possible.
Over the last five years or so, I started to see the ways in which weight stigma keeps people (including me) waiting for a life free from bias and discrimination. These are some of the instances of waiting that I have noticed and experienced.
Waiting to initiate romantic relationships for fear that your body is not desirable.
While much of the existing research is limited to studies of white, heterosexual adults in individualistic countries, there is evidence that weight stigma impacts romantic relationships. A commonly cited study by Alice D. Boyes and Janet D. Latner in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that women in larger bodies were viewed by their male partners as lower in attractiveness and vitality, as well as being poorer matches to their partners’ ideals of physical appearance. In a study by Robert A. Carles and colleagues, the significantly stronger desire to date a thinner prospect than a heavier prospect was most evident among straight men and women, as well as gay men and bisexual women who prefer men. I met and married my spouse early in recovery when I was in a smaller body. While my current existence in a small fat to mid-fat body has not impacted his love for me, it has at times impacted my belief that I am loveable and that puts strain on our relationship.Waiting to visit the doctor for routine care in order to avoid being weighed and having to listen to their “concern” about your body.
Thirteen percent of women shared not wanting to “get weighed on the scale” as a factor in delaying or avoiding healthcare. In a study of Black and white women in larger bodies, unsolicited advice to lose weight was cited as one of the weight-related barriers to routine gynecological cancer screening. Over 18% of underserved women surveyed by Ferrante and colleagues reported a physician recommended dieting to them even when they did not intend to discuss weight at the appointment. I delayed my first mammogram and annual gynecological exam this year by four months because I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to listen to a lecture from my gynecologist.Waiting to be taken seriously when you express a medical concern, instead of having it dismissed as likely “weight-related.”
People in larger bodies have voiced time and time again that healthcare professionals have a tendency to attribute all of their health issues to their weight. Brown and colleagues discovered that this attribution of all health issues to weight increases individuals' reluctance to express concern about a health issue, to see their general practitioner, or to disclose the circumstances related to the emergence of their symptoms. During my pregnancy with my second son, I was having severe nausea and had not gained any weight until the middle of my second trimester. When I discussed this with my doctor, it was not met with concern or further medical inquiry. I was simply told, “you had weight to lose to begin with.” I continued to struggle through the rest of my pregnancy and during my maternity leave. After several months of unrelenting symptoms, I met with my primary care doctor for a second opinion. Luckily, she happened to be in a larger body and took my concerns seriously. She ordered tests and they quickly showed that I had gallstones and needed surgery. But, because I had exhausted my FMLA and paid leave during my maternity leave, I had to take unpaid time off without job protection.Waiting for eating disorder treatment because engaging in dangerous food restriction isn’t recognized as a problem for people with larger bodies.
While not immediately recognized as a risk for higher-weight individuals, it is estimated that adolescents with larger bodies comprise nearly 36% of patients presenting for treatment of serious restrictive eating disorders. Individuals with ”atypical” anorexia share that they had to become thinner or engage in more drastic behaviors to access treatment or be taken seriously by healthcare professionals. Harrop and colleagues interviewed 38 adults with atypical anorexia and found that weight stigma “prolonged eating disorder behaviors, delayed care, created suboptimal treatment environments, deterred help-seeking, and lowered healthcare utilization.” During a restrictive period before developing bulimia, I struggled with severe constipation, sensitivity to cold temperatures, and irregular periods. My weight progress on my growth chart had stalled despite getting taller, but I was never asked about my eating behaviors by my primary care doctor. I was simply told I could take birth control if I wanted to regulate my period and offered laxatives for constipation.Waiting for clothing lines and big-name stores to carry fashionable items that fit you in-store.
In a study of UK women, researchers found that women wearing a size 16 or larger were particularly dissatisfied with retail environments, fashion, and sizing options. Men in larger bodies also share mostly negative shopping experiences due to poor fit and unfashionable styles. Elizabeth Endicott chronicles in her New York Times article that while brands such as Loft and Old Navy were making progress in their plus size offerings as recently as 2018, both rolled back or discontinued their initiatives by 2021-2022. I have personally resorted to clothing shopping online for the last eight years. I have to use a measuring tape and carefully study size guides (sizing is rarely consistent across manufacturers) when I order so I don’t have to deal with returns. When I do find plus-size clothing in stores, it is often poor quality or simply not my style.Waiting to reply to a friend’s request to have lunch, fearing you will be judged because of your body and that what you decide to order will be scrutinized.
Interviews of higher-weight people reveal that they all experienced people staring at them in different stages of the dining experience – as they entered the restaurant, while ordering food, eating, going to the bathroom, or while leaving the restaurant. The participants also felt that they were blamed for enjoying food when there is an expectation that they should be limiting their calories. As a result, when they eat with people they do not know as well, people in larger bodies feel that they need to impress them by eating “healthy” food and in small amounts. Judging how fat people eat was almost legally sanctioned in Mississippi. In 2008, three members of the state House of Representatives proposed a bill that would make it illegal for restaurants to serve people deemed “ob*se”. I have had dining experiences when I ordered what I thought would satisfy my taste buds only to have the person I’m dining with utter “I wish I could eat that, but I’m trying to be ‘good.’”Waiting to seek out joyful movement because of negative experiences with exercise.
A 2021 article in BMC Public Health noted that people in larger bodies often exclude themselves from sports and exercise settings due to “traumatic weight stigma experiences.” Fat people’s experience of weight stigma at the gym is associated with poor emotional health, as demonstrated by a study published in Stigma and Health. I took eight years off from exercise as I was navigating recovery. I was burnt out from overexercising and couldn’t get past exercise as punishment for my body daring to exist as something other than the thin ideal. Any gym or fitness center I went into focused on shrinking the body as the ultimate goal. I find more enjoyment today in walking my dog, riding my e-bike, or slowly wandering through the woods with like-minded friends. Many days I find enjoyment in quiet, motionless reflection.Waiting to take that cross-country plane trip due to the logistical nightmare that is flying while fat.
Flying as a fat person often involves reserving and paying for two seats. You may or may not be refunded the cost of the second seat, depending on the airline or how full the flight is. The first time I flew in a larger body, I had no idea what to expect. I was in terrible pain by the time I arrived at my destination. I paid to upgrade my return flight to first class (I was lucky that a seat was available), a solution that would work for someone in a small fat to midsize fat body with financial means. Flying brings up a lot of negative emotions ever since that experience.Waiting to see yourself in movies as someone other than the funny, fat, friend.
In Kata Kyrölä’s book chapter Fat in the Media, they noted that fat people are many times cast as the “funny sidekick” or the “emotionally damaged binge eater.” Fat people are also often limited to roles defined by their fatness. Thin people in fat suits have been used historically to portray fat people in film and television comedy and, most recently, in the stigmatizing drama The Whale. The Representation Project compiled a 2022 report regarding the representation of fat women and girls in Hollywood. They noted that in film, fat women represent only 6.7% of characters in popular films. In television, non-fat women also outnumber fat women (93.4% compared to 6.6% in top TV shows). I cannot put into words how hurtful it is to struggle to find people like me represented positively in film and media. It is just one more thing that makes me question if the body I am in is “good enough.”Waiting to showcase your creativity, ideas, and talent at your place of employment for fear of not being taken seriously.
According to a 2023 survey by ResumeBuilder, more than five in 10 employees in the U.S. who identify as being “overw*ight” say they've experienced weight discrimination in the workplace. Surveys of HR professionals note that “ob*se” employees are more likely to be perceived as lazy, unmotivated, and unprofessional than employees in other weight categories. There are few protections in the workplace for fat people. Michigan is the only state to successfully pass legislation explicitly declaring weight as a category protected from discrimination. In the state of Washington, “ob*sity” is covered by the state anti-discrimination law. Luckily, I have not personally experienced weight stigma in the workplace. But, at a former place of employment, I often overheard negative comments about coworkers in larger bodies, constant talk of dieting in the breakroom, and fatphobic comments in general. It was very much a hostile environment for a fat person.
As Weight Stigma Awareness Week draws to a close, I invite everyone to consider ways in which anti-fat bias (in ourselves and in others) keeps people waiting for a more inclusive reality. Please don’t wait to change mindsets and behaviors that keep size freedom in the distant future.
