The Power of Doing the Next Right Thing
In the book The Writing Life, Annie Dillard writes, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
I love what Dillard was aiming to communicate — that our lives are worth living with thoughtfulness and intention. I agree. And it is, of course, true that what we spend our time on is what our lives will be remembered for.
Using the idea of doing the next right thing can be helpful for making small decisions, but I have also found it immensely helpful for making big decisions. I have asked myself what my next best thing is at many major life events. It has changed my life for the better. The following story is one that is still unfolding, but it reveals the power I’ve found in doing the next right thing.
In the summer of 2019, I turned 21, graduated from college, and was hired into a position that I thought was going to be my dream job. I was a little nervous but mostly excited to be starting a new phase of life. However, there was one thing looming large over me that I knew I didn’t want to carry into my future — a soul-crushing eating disorder that I had struggled with for the better part of a decade. I was very sick, my physical and mental health worsening weekly. I knew that I had a problem, but had yet to realize the extent of my problem. One thing I was sure of, however, was that I couldn’t recover on my own. Needing direction, I enlisted the support of a dietitian who specialized in eating disorders.
After our first meeting, she advised me to enter a day treatment program. I initially put up a fight, but after a few weeks of attempting (and failing) to successfully complete the meal plan she had given me, I went to the partial hospitalization program (PHP) that she recommended. I was afraid, though certain, that this step was my next right thing.
A few months passed at PHP when it was determined I needed care at a residential level. I was furious and hesitant, initially declining to leave home to receive treatment. This was when the rubber would meet the road, and I would have to decide if I was going to do what I truly knew to be my next right thing.
At this point, I wholeheartedly believed that I wasn’t ever going to be able to recover. I truly believed that I would spend whatever time I had left being eroded away by my eating disorder. However, I knew that my values (authenticity and integrity) were not aligned with what my eating disorder valued — thinness and being sick at all costs. I knew that I couldn’t live life the way that was important to me while still holding on to my eating disorder. With this in mind, I knew that my next best thing was going to residential treatment even if that meant spending time away from my family and losing the job that I was initially so excited about.
My time in treatment was filled with days of doing the next right thing, meal by meal, hour by hour, bite by bite. I even created a card that I carried with me at meal times, reminding me that all I was responsible for doing when it came to this meal was the next right thing.
At times, that was sitting with the food because that’s all I could do. At other times, I knew I had the strength to complete the meal in front of me. There were also days when I didn’t feel like I was able to do my next right thing. Even in those moments, I knew that if I held on to this phrase, it would realign me with what I needed to do to get back on track.
Most of the time, it did not feel like my actions were adding up to much. I continued to struggle, not only for the months at the higher level of care, but for the months and years that followed as I did my best to continue healing. However, those months and years of doing the next right thing have amounted to something amazing, something that I never dreamed was possible.
Today, I am a world away from where I started. I have so much compassion for who I was at the beginning of my recovery journey, and I am so proud of the person I was for simply doing the next right thing. Today, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel that I thought I would be walking for the rest of my life. I have achieved recovery milestones I never thought possible. I have overcome the rules that overwhelmed my life for so long. It has been a journey of thousands of next right steps and decisions. I have learned over my journey of recovery that even if the only step you can see is the one in front of you, you can walk the whole journey that way.
